Blog by Yessica Maher, los Angeles Native.

She explores life after marriage, starting a career in her late 30's, relationships, breaking cycles of abuse, online dating, self care, fertility and depression. 

It's all over the place, but so is living. 

Self Help Starts With Focusing Inside of You

Enrollment is typically a word used to describe your commitment to take classes that will end in an accomplishment.  This is why we enroll our kids in kindergarten and later we get to watch them enroll themselves in their first college class.  What I want to offer is more than selling an idea to you.  It's about getting you to embody a lifestyle, and that's the cream filled treat I'm after right now. I want to enroll you in living epically. I did another Facebook Live video.  My goal is to post one a week.  It allows me to get comfortable with seeing myself on camera.  The video cut out because of a weak signal, but I stuck with it. [facebook url="https://www.facebook.com/yessica.maher/videos/10209199150269611/" /] I see my blog as free therapy for me, and I've been asked if I see the value I give others.  I don't always.  Sometimes, I get encouragement from people that follow along with my shenanigans and their ability to make a deeper connection that resonates with their experience helps me feel like I am helping, but it's not my goal to be a self-help guru.

I don't read a lot of self help books, and I rarely get lost in movies or television anymore.  I spent so long escaping my reality into someone else's imagination that I now choose to face my life head on.  There's no escaping into fiction. There's no checking out in a vicarious adrenaline rush or a romance that will warp my ideas of deep and meaningful love.  I face my life and when I recognize a shortfall, I get to take notice and make changes.

I mean sure, I read inspirational bits in small doses (and mainly from Pinterest lately).  Yes, I took the Basic and Advanced leadership courses. What I get from it all is what I take and internalize.  It's not enough to ask how to live a meaningful life, if I can't internalize that system of values. Otherwise, I'd remain on the eternal search for the next person who can tell me what to do. To live epicly when you weren't before means you get to do what you have never done before.  It can be hard, but nothing magical happens when you're still in your comfort zone.

It helps to be as introspective as I am.  I look at every detail and analyze meaning in everything.  I want to know what the general thought is and then see how it applies to me uniquely. It's who I am, but I look for it in others. If I have a conversation with a man that can take new information, blend it with what he already knows, and come up with a new perspective or ideal, rather than spitting out the old, separate from the new, he has my attention in all the right ways.  Intelligence it hot.

It's not enough to tell people that the life I get to live is amazing.  It's not enough to say anyone can join me, or you should follow in my footsteps.  I know what it means to live authentically in who I choose to be.  I know how amazing it feels.  What I want for those I love is for them to know and understand that they have the potential to live as they want to. They can do what I do because it's a choice that is their possibility.  The hardest part isn't when you set out on your journey.  It's  that moment when you decide to take control of who you are and what that looks like.

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For me, this road has been solitary.  I have a hard time accepting dates I don't want. Why spend my time in a way that doesn't excite me? I have many people say they want to join me, but it's beyond their comfort and I often end up alone.  I invited my family to join me on Sunday and they all chose to stay closer to home because it was a rainy day in Los Angeles.  I went out with an umbrella, but didn't see any rain at all because serendipity is on my side.  (That post is coming soon.) I have a great friend give me the "SWSWSWSW" I've been living by.

Some Will.

Some Won't

So What?

Someone's Waiting.

I'm not waiting for anything, and that is my authenticity.  You get to decide what yours is.  How epic is that? I can't sell you on how I choose to live, but I can enroll you in the idea that it's always shifting and growing in ways I can control.  I can show you that I'm always learning with each day, experience and connection.  You get to do that as well.

The Man Who Claimed to be Vin Diesel and Intuition Rewards

Infatuation