Credit cards, interest rates, debt roll up. It's worth a quick lesson.
I was Afraid of your physical strength
I was afraid of you reducing me
I was afraid Of your complete disregard for me
I was afraid Of your temper
I was afraid of holes being punched Into walls
I was afraid of your testosterone
I made him my world, but only because I chose to give him that power. That power is only mine to give. It is only mine to take back and control. The love that was given was never lost, and the ache of longing reminds me we shattered what was broken so it can grow from a new place. A stronger place.
Credit scores can affect your ability to buy a house or car, finance a business or emergency, get a job or rent an apartment.
When realizing that giving is really just a down payment on something you expected to get.
It'll be tight but this is what growing looks like. It's uncomfortable. It can be painful. And it can be scary. At the same time, you don't get to be brave until you face fear, and courage only comes with pain.
And I'm now raising that kid. I used to envy them with their square bottles of Evian. Now mine drink San Pelligrino and ask for glass Voss bottles and I remember drinking water from the neighbor's hose while pedaling my old bike with the banana boat seat through the neighborhood with purple jacarandas and wilting lilies.
Fall transformations from who I was to who I am becoming are difficult and painful, but necessary for the life that is coming.