I was Afraid of your physical strength

 I was afraid of you reducing me

 I was afraid Of your complete disregard for me

I was afraid Of your temper

I was afraid of holes being punched Into walls

I was afraid of your testosterone

Celestial Being

I made him my world, but only because I chose to give him that power. That power is only mine to give. It is only mine to take back and control.  The love that was given was never lost, and the ache of longing reminds me we shattered what was broken so it can grow from a new place.  A stronger place. 

And I'm now raising that kid. I used to envy them with their square bottles of Evian. Now mine drink San Pelligrino and ask for glass Voss bottles and I remember drinking water from the neighbor's hose while pedaling my old bike with the banana boat seat through the neighborhood with purple jacarandas and wilting lilies.