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You are the prayers and legacy of your entire bloodline. You carry the backbone of those people before you. You are the strength of generations that have been broken, and endured. You are their tenacity and their hope. Straighten your posture. Hold your head high. You are the current expression of beauty and strength in generations of your family. Carry yourself as if they’ve been praying for you, before you were born. The people that have tried to break you, wouldn’t have bothered if you were as small and broken as they tried to convince you they are. You can’t pull down what is already below you.
If you’ve just met and they can’t stand to be apart from you, it’s a red flag. This was so normal to me in so many relationships. We just met, but they were constantly talking to me about what I was doing, wearing, eating, and watching. There was no space or mystery. It was just about being together and the world falling away.
The biggest lesson I’ve been struggling with during this time is self advocating. I can still do great things. I’ve just written a blog post that outlines some heavy material in a way that is hopefully easy to understand. I also have moments of instability where I need more support. The crazy part about invisible disabilities such as mental health is the part where you can barely function, but still have to let people know you need the help that they can’t seem to see you needing.