Blog by Yessica Maher, los Angeles Native.

She explores life after marriage, starting a career in her late 30's, relationships, breaking cycles of abuse, online dating, self care, fertility and depression. 

It's all over the place, but so is living. 

Beach Therapy and Rage Control

The divorce diet shaved about 30 pounds and put me in the sizes I wore the last time I was single which was six pregnancies ago. I was really happy about that this morning. Caller ID and voicemail are a gift I need to learn to use more often. I answered a call I didn't have to and I felt a familiar rage and my happiness melted away. My plans for the next few days have shifted and the lack of control feels like powerlessness and it boiled into fury. I get angry at times and today I just needed to drive. Driving in, wispy purple clouds curled overhead in sheets of fog through Palisades. It was hot and sunny at home.

I picked up rocks as I walked along the shore, depositing them in a pocket. The stretch between jetties was covered in ladybugs. Some were walking on damp sand. Some were on their backs, stuck in the sand, having been tossed by the angry surf. Some ladybugs were making baby ladybugs. One hitched a ride on me as I walked back to my car for a short nap.

 I love the the life around the rough waters and the way the water filters through mud and sand and back to the ocean.    I am enjoying the quiet and solitude. The people ride by on bikes and share their smiles as I watch the horizon. There is goodness here and just past the breakers I can see my joy again. [wpvideo 6ikycC3g]

Broken Birthday Wishes

My Transparency, part 2