Blog by Yessica Maher, los Angeles Native.

She explores life after marriage, starting a career in her late 30's, relationships, breaking cycles of abuse, online dating, self care, fertility and depression. 

It's all over the place, but so is living. 

My Children Need a Reset Button

Sunday night I picked the kids up a day early. I don't mind my schedule shifting, but the kids don't do well with changes to their routine. Bedtime came later and the idea of going to school the next day was harsh. After school yesterday there was fighting and micro aggressions became assault. I decided I needed to go to my happy place. I thought of that single mom that recharged every few months with her kids when she shared her  Blessings with me. I made a choice knowing at least one child would be angry with it. He was.

We piled in the car and I told them we were chasing the sun. I knew kid1 would hate it because he hates the beach. We parked at Will Rogers just as the sun dipped behind the mountains.

It was a last minute trip with no planning so we didn't pack extra clothes but kid3 always remembers his skateboard. He's a perfect opportunist.

My plan was to pick rocks and find munchies along the pier. Realistically, I know better than to take kids to the ocean and ask them to stay out of it but I wasn't going to freak out over water and sand. That's what a heater and a drive thru are for. Kid2 and kid3 played tag with the ocean and did really well in not pushing each other. Kid1 sat in the car and found more anger by the time we were leaving.

We took the streets home and I pointed out Pacific Palisades High school where my sister graduated. Then I pointed out the street that led to my elementary school, Brentwood Science Magnet. I pointed out UCLA where kid1 plans to go after graduation. Kid2 likes my alma mater, CSULA. I told him I chose that school because of it's location. I didn't tell him how happy it would make me for him to be a 3rd generation alumni. I won't limit him in his goals. I pointed out the Beverly Hills Hotel and admitted I would love to spend a night there one day. I showed them the iconic clubs on Sunset Strip like the Roxy and Rainbow Room, and the shops that aren't flooded with merchandise but are more about the experience they offer. I pointed out the cars that wound through the streets alongside us.  They liked the Ferraris the most, but there was a Jaguar and Lamborghini worth pointing out. I showed them where I worked in January and February. They were curious and my tour guiding kept an open and easy rapport.

Later I plied kid1 with cheesecake and blood orange sorbet. He likes anything with blood oranges in it. Kid2 likes cheesecake and caramel ice cream. Kid3 got strawberry ice cream and no cheesecake but it's in our freezer right now.

Kid2 was happy. Kid3 thinks I'm the best mom. It pays to be irresponsible on a school night. Kid1 was happy to have his sorbet and head home and was even singing in the shower.

There was joy in them last night. They were ready on time this morning. Adding chaos to their thrown off schedules brought peace. I win.

My Transparency, part 2

Picking at Scabs When I Should Allow Healing